Trump fires back at the lying loser Eloi

Meanwhile sometime in the far future, President-for-Life Donald Trump talks about the lies that the Eloi tell about him.

And the Eloi will pay for that wall around 'Murica.

You know who I like? The Morlocks. I love the Morlocks. And the Morlocks love me. I get along fabulously with the Morlocks. The Morlocks are winners. The Morlocks build machines, massive machines, the best machines, Trump-worthy machines. And the Morlocks have made sacrifices. The Morlocks have worked hard, and it has been a sacrifice for them. Unlike those losers, the Eloi. The Morlocks are eating us! Why are the Morlocks eating us? Why are we so tasty? Complete losers, the Eloi are—winners don’t get eaten. And who wrote the Eloi speech? It had to be that lying time traveler.

When occult unifiers attack

Every once in awhile, someone comes along declaring that they are working on unifying Wicca, pagans, or ceremonial magicians. They are doomed to fail. Why? We can't even agree on simple definitions, not alone important stuff. Plus there is the little fact that some people in these communities have the personalities of the Ravenous Bubblatter Beast of Traal and the poetic ability of a Vogon---typically the worst offenders are those trying to unify us. And then there is the stabbing---that stabbing feeling we get in our heads when these unifiers declare some of us not members of the community because we take the wrong drugs, believe in the wrong ideas, or simply want to stab someone for trying to become the boss of all of us. Still it is good for a couple of days of amusement, so stock up on that tasty popcorn and watch the show.

Raise Your Wands Gun Week

For the person who believes that I should not be stirring up trouble.

Raise Your Wands Gun Week!

Guest lecture: Dr. Evil

Sponsored by Gun TV

Kitchen Sink says, "The answer is More Guns!"

Hog Dee says: "Guns make you safe!"

When: Any day in 'Merica

Where: First place Mars Attacks!

Please join us in our worldwide magic spell to end gun violence by invoking the great god Elohim Gibor, and forcing the governments of the world to give ever man, woman, child, and unborn fetus, an assault weapon and a million rounds of ammo.

Remember only a Magician with a Gun can prevent a Muggle from shooting Sitting Ducks.

[MDE 2015]