When occult unifiers attack

Every once in awhile, someone comes along declaring that they are working on unifying Wicca, pagans, or ceremonial magicians. They are doomed to fail. Why? We can't even agree on simple definitions, not alone important stuff. Plus there is the little fact that some people in these communities have the personalities of the Ravenous Bubblatter Beast of Traal and the poetic ability of a Vogon---typically the worst offenders are those trying to unify us. And then there is the stabbing---that stabbing feeling we get in our heads when these unifiers declare some of us not members of the community because we take the wrong drugs, believe in the wrong ideas, or simply want to stab someone for trying to become the boss of all of us. Still it is good for a couple of days of amusement, so stock up on that tasty popcorn and watch the show.