Just jam it into the socket

Our latest Occult Tech Support call involved a non-functioning LBRP.


*ring*

*ring*

*ring*

Hello, this is Occult Tech Support. How may I disservice you today?

Your LBRP is not working.

LBRP. LBRP? LBRP?!

Oh, you mean the Lesser Ritual of the Pentagram.

What mode do you have it in?

Banishing. Have you tried turning it to invoking?

Are you sure that yours only has one mode?

According to the manual, it has two modes--invoking and banishing.

That is what it says in the manual...

I don't know why the manual would lie...

Ok, presuming that you are right...what outlet do you have it plugged into?

Elemental...elemental...according to the manual, the Lesser Ritual does not plug into the elemental current.

Sir, calm down, I am just going by what the manual says.

Yes, I know that the customer is always right.

You want a refund?

Ok.

How long have you owned your Lesser Ritual?

Two years?!

And you are just now noticing that it is not working properly?!

No, I am not implying anything of the kind...

...it is just...

...that I am not sure that your warranty is still valid.

Where did you obtain your Lesser Ritual?

Really...are you sure?

According to the manual, that is not not an authorized dealer.

Sir, screaming at me is not going to help.

No, no, you do not have a valid warranty.

Well, you can register a complaint with the dealer who sold it to you.

Oh, I see. Why did you leave that Order?

People kept telling you were wrong when you knew that you were right...yes, I can see how that might be a problem.

So what do you think you should do?

Yes, I suppose that you can remove the safety pin and just jam it into the elemental socket.

Yes, I will stay on the line while you do so.

Yes, just jam it in.

Sir, what was that zapping sound I just heard?

Sir?

Sir?

Sir, are you still on the line?

Sir?

*hangs up*

*pauses in thought*

*starts to write*

Problem solved--satisfactory. No need for a follow-up call.